The times I've cried
by teal'c08
Summary: Immediately after "The Worst Couple". SongFic-ish for P!nk's "I don't believe you"
1. Chapter 1

_This starts at the end of "The Worst Couple" and continues on for a bit afterwards. _

_They will be OOC, not because I have any good reason, but because I'm just not that great of a writer, which I freely admit. The only reason I'm writing this is because the ideas keep floating around in my head and won't leave me alone. _

_I'm breaking it up because it was just too long to be one chapter_

Beck slowly lets go of the door handle and turns back to the rest of the group in the living room. "Let's play cards."

"Yea…let's play" Tori says hesitatingly as she, Andre, and Trina started to move back towards the game table.

"Wait!" Cat cries from her position near the couch. "Shouldn't someone go after her?"

Beck deliberately shifts his gaze towards his cards, refusing to meet the redhead's gaze. He knows that by 'anyone' she mostly means him, but he can't bring himself to do what she wants.

Tori and Andre glance at each other, but neither one makes any motion to talk.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS!" The petite girl shouts. "Jade is our friend and she just got her heart handed to her on a stick." Beck sinks farther down into his seat as guilt continues to churn his stomach. When it becomes clear that she's not going to get any answer but silence, Cat huffs and storms out of the house.

As soon as she opens the door, she sees a folded piece of paper on the ground with a brown cord sticking out of it. Picking it up, she recognizes the chord as Jade's circle necklace. The one Cat knows Jade hasn't taken off since the day Beck gave it to her.

"Beck" she says as she turns around, holding the folded paper and necklace out to him. He walks over to her, takes them from her hand, and unfolds the paper to read it. The necklace slides out into his palm and he squeezes his hand shut around it.

_You lied_. The paper reads

Beck nearly collapses onto Tori's couch, his hand going to his hair automatically. Cat slips out the door, knowing Jade is hurting much worse than even she had originally thought.

"What is that?" Tori asks. Beck holds up the necklace in answer to her question.

"Oh. What's the deal with those, anyway? I know you both have one." She asks, genuinely just wanting to understand.

Beck sighs and leans his head on the back of the couch. "I bought them when we decided to be exclusive. She was worried that I would eventually leave her like everyone else she loves did. I promised her that I wouldn't and all she had to do was look at this necklace to remember that." He turns the circle over in his hands as he speaks. "Neither one of us has taken it off since. Until now that is." He closes his eyes, fighting back tears and cursing his own stupidity.

Tori and Andre look at each other, both at a complete loss as to how to help their friend.

Cat doesn't even bother with ringing the doorbell when she arrives at Jade's house. She simply reaches under the rock next to the porch and pulls out the spare key she knows will be hidden there. She and Jade have been friends since they were five and this wasn't the first time that Cat has had to let herself into the West house to comfort her best friend, although this is the first time in nearly three years that Beck isn't right there beside her.

She opens the front door and slips past Jade's father who is sitting on the couch in the den with his new wife. As quietly as she can, Cat climbs the stairs and makes her way to Jade's room. She can hear muffled sobs before she even reaches the door and her heart aches a little bit more for the girl behind it. As quietly as she can, Cat opens the door, slips inside, and gently closes it behind her.

The site before her is gut-wrenching. Jade is curled in fetal position on her bed and Cat can see the tale-tell track marks of mascara on her face. Without saying a word, Cat climbs into the bed behind the dark-haired girl and wraps her arms around her. Jade doesn't verbally acknowledge her, but she reaches back to grab Cat's hand and pull it farther across her body so that she is completely enveloped in Cat's hold. Cat simply squeezes Jade closer in response. With her free hand, the redhead gently strokes Jade's hair while she whispers (hopefully) words into her ear. Eventually, Jade's sobbing quiets down and her breathing begins to even out, signaling that the girl has fallen asleep. For as long as Cat can remember, Jade has been like a big sister to her. Sure, she can be mean to her or yell, but, when push comes to shove, Jade will defend and protect her, fighting against anything that threatens to hurt the innocent girl. For once, Cat can return the favor, so she settles in behind her and prepares to spend the night comforting her heartbroken sister.


	2. Chapter 2

_About two weeks later_

Beck and Jade haven't really talked much since the break-up. He once said "Hey" at her when she passed him in the hallway, but she simply shouted the word back at him without so much as looking his way.

The group has sort of been divided into two camps. Tori and Andre mostly hang with Beck while Cat stays firmly by Jade's side. Robbie tried to float between the two, but since Jade and Rex have never gotten along, he often finds it easier to just stay with Beck. She tries not to let it bother her, she really does. It was 'Jade and Cat against the World' for years before they came to Hollywood Arts, so it really shouldn't bother her as much as it does. Somewhere in the back of her mind, though, she can admit that she had liked these people, trusted them even, and she feels as if they all abandoned her. Out of all of them, Jade thinks that Andre's actions hurt the most. She genuinely considered him a friend-_her_ friend, not just Beck's- but he seems to have chosen to plant himself on Beck's side of the fence.

It's her free period right now. Tori, Beck, Robbie, and Cat all have class, but she knows that Andre doesn't. The two of them used to hang out in the Black Box Theatre together, goofing off and writing songs. It was one of the few times that Jade really enjoyed school without Cat or Beck near her, and it was one of the first things that stopped happening when they broke up. Despite the fact that she knows he won't show, Jade goes to the theatre everyday and sits behind the piano. On the on hand, it's more than a little pathetic how much she's pinning for her friend. On the other hand, she's used the time alone to write some songs and it was actually pretty cathartic.

On this particular day, she is trying to work out the score of one of those songs, but this one hits very close to home and she can't quite seem to get it to sound the way she wants it to. She lets out a frustrated scream and slams the lid of the piano shut.

"You know, you shouldn't abuse the instruments like that. I could hear that slam all the way in the hallway. All they've ever done is try to help you."

Jade whips her head around and is greeted with the image of one Andre Harris, head angled down slightly. She's speechless for a bit, but quickly regains her composure. Schooling her features into her signature expression of one eyebrow raised and a smirk on her lips, she responds with "Yeah, well. This one was being uncooperative so I decided I would no longer need its services."

Andre takes her light response as a sign that she wouldn't attack if he approached, so he walked towards her slowly and eventually settled himself on the bench next to her.

"Maybe I could help? " he asks, hoping that she will take it as the apology it's meant to be.

Jade turns to looks at him and stares for a minute and appraises him. He must pass the test because she turns back to the piano and begins to play what she has so far. "It just doesn't sound like I want it to."

They go back and forth, trying to perfect the melody. After much prodding, she reluctantly agrees to show him the lyrics. He wisely chooses not to comment on them, but to keep the discussion solely on the music.

"You know how to play guitar, right?"

Jade looks at him questioningly. "Uh, yeah, I guess. B-" she stops, unable to get the name out. She closes her eyes for a second, opens them and continues. "Beck taught me."

Andre nods and walks over to the corner of the theatre where the instruments are lined up. He grabs the acoustic guitar and turns around to hand her the instrument.

"Try it on this."

"Really? Because I don't know if-"

"Jade." He cuts her off, pressing the instrument into her hands and holding it there firmly. "Play it on the guitar." She opens her mouth to retort, but closes it and nods instead.

After a bit of tweaking, the song is finally finished. Jade, reluctantly, admits that the guitar was a good choice. As she strums the last cord, she looks over at Andre, trying to gauge his reaction. She'd never admit it out load, but she respects him as a musician and his approval means a lot to her.

He's silent for a bit before he looks back at her. "That's it." He whispers, as if speaking loudly would break the spell they've been under for the last twenty minutes or so. "That's the way you have to do it on Friday. Just you and your guitar." He says earnestly.

Her eyes widen to an almost cartoonish size. "What do you mean 'on Friday?'" She demands.

"I mean at the showcase." He says with false nonchalance.

"No. No, no, no, no, no. I am not singing this song in front of the entire school! Are you nuts?" she cried.

"Jade, that song is too good for it not to be heard. I know it'll be hard, but if you sing it the way you just did for me, you'll blow them all out of the water." He says, honestly meaning every word.

She looks away and defiantly says "I'll think about it," but they both know that he's won.


	3. Chapter 3

_This is it folks. Thanks for reading if you've made it this far. _

_Song is "I don't believe you" by P!nk._

And that's how she ends up standing behind the stage four days later, guitar in hand, quietly freaking out as Cat tries to calm her down to no avail.

"Jade, you'll be great. You know that you have one of the best voices at HA. No one is going to know what hit them when you get out there."

Jade tries to smile at this, but she can't quite manage it. Singing this song isn't just about having a good voice. It's about going out there and pouring her heart out in front of the entire school but, more importantly, in front of _Beck_.

"And next up, we have Jade West singing an original song." The MC announced.

Jade can feel her heart start to race and she tries to back up and flea, but Cat, who is deceptively strong, just pushes her back on stage.

Once she's out there, she takes a deep breath and pulls the stool over to the mic stand. She takes a seat and gently strums her guitar to make sure that it is still in tune, even though she knows it will be. She adjusts the mic and shifts around to get comfortable on the wooden seat. When she's decided that she's stalled as much as she can without it being too obvious, she leans forward and says into the mic "This is "I Don't Believe You." With that, she begins the opening chords of her song, carefully avoiding looking into the area of the audience where she knows he always sits.

Her voice comes in, quiet but strong, and the entire crowd goes silent

_I don't mind it  
>I don't mind at all<br>It's like you're the swing set  
>and I'm the kid that falls<br>It's like the way we fight,  
>the times I've cried,<br>we come to blows  
>But every night the passion's there<br>so it's gotta be right, right?_

_[Chorus:]  
>No I don't believe you<br>When you say don't come around here no more  
>I won't remind you<br>You said we wouldn't be apart  
>No, I don't believe you<br>When you say you don't need me anymore  
>So don't pretend<br>To not love me at all_

Her voice cracks slightly with emotion, but she is still on key and sounds hauntingly beautiful. Unwillingly, she her gaze shifts over to Beck and they lock eyes as she starts the next verse.

_I don't mind it  
>I still don't mind at all<br>It's like one of those bad dreams  
>when you can't wake up<br>Looks like you've given up,  
>you've had enough<br>But I want more  
>no I won't stop<br>'cause I just know  
>you'll come around... right?<em>

_[Chorus]___

_Just don't stand there and watch me fall  
>'cause I, 'cause I still don't mind at all<br>_

_It's like the way we fight,  
>the times I cry,<br>we come to blows  
>But every night the passion's there<br>so it's gotta be right, right?_

_[Chorus]_

_I don't believe you _

She whispers the last words, looking directly into Beck's eyes. The entire theatre is silent for a few beats before the audience breaks out into thunderous applause. Beck and Jade, however, are still locked in a staring contest. She can't quiet place the emotions she sees in them, but she knows that she has to get off stage right now before she completely loses it. She fleas, trying to get as far away from him as possible, as quickly as possible, but she's intercepted by Andre and Cat who immediately wrap their arms around her in a gigantic hug which is as much for comfort and support as it is for congratulations. The hug manages to last long enough that by the time she disentangles herself from their grasp, Beck has appeared backstage and is standing right in front of her.

"Hey" he whispers, his hands shoved into his pockets.

For some, incomprehensible reason that one word angers her. "Oh my God! Are you kidding me? I wrote a song for you! I just poured my heart out in front of the entire school! And all you can say is 'Hey?' Is that the only word you know? 'Oh, look at me. I'm Beck Oliver and I-"

Her mocking impression of him is cut off when he suddenly pulls her close and presses his lips against hers. They their bodies shift and fit together without either one of them consciously moving. Beck's hands slide from her wrists (where he had grabbed her when he first kissed her) to her waist to pull her even closer into him. Hers slide into his hair where they grab onto the strands and gently pull, angling his head the way she wants it.

After kissing for a minute or two without breaking, they finally separate. Jade quickly takes several steps back, as if she needs physical distance from him to keep from kissing him again.

"What was that?" she asks.

"That was me kissing you. That was me telling you that I never stopped loving you. That was me saying that I was an idiot who broke both of our hearts because I was a coward who took the easy way out instead of fighting anything to hold onto this. That was me apologizing." With each sentence he takes a step closer to her and she takes one back. Unfortunately for her, he backs her all the way into a wall. Taking one final step, he places his hands on either side of her head on the wall and leans forward so that his lips were a hair away from her lips. "That was me begging you to take me back." He whispers, his breath ghosting over her lips.

She tries to suppress the shiver that runs through her body, but doesn't quite manage to. "Wow, quite a lot for one kiss to say."

He can't help but let out a breathy laugh and runs his hand through his hair. "I've always been a very concise kisser." He says back.

When she doesn't say anything in return, he begins to get nervous. "Soooo" he draws the word out.

Jade looks conflicted for a moment before she pulls her arm back and punches him in the face. Beck rears back, holding his check which, thankfully, seems to be only bruised.

"That was me saying you're an asshole. That was me saying that you gave up when you should have fought for us. That was me saying that apologizing doesn't make it all better."

"Quite the wordy punch"

"I have a very concise fist."

Without any warning, she reaches up, grabs his face, and kisses him passionately.

When they break apart, she whispers "And that was me saying that I love you and that I know we have some things we need to work on, but these last two weeks without you have been hell and I want to get back to how we were before."

He lets out a loud cheer and picks her up, spinning her around in a circle. Her laugh is loud and clear and he's never heard a sound so beautiful.

When he finally sets her back on the ground, she suddenly catches site of the circle necklace around his neck. "Beck-" she starts, her hand flying to her neck even though she knows she won't find the matching one around her neck.

Without saying a word, he reaches under the collar of his shirt and pulls out a second necklace, _her_ necklace. He pulls the cord over his head and places it over hers.

"I'm sorry I lied." He whispers while kissing her.

"I forgive you. And I'm sorry I made you think that I don't need you."

"I didn't believe you anyway."


End file.
